Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize