so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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