so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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