on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
