but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
