Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
