u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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