im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
