Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
