Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
