I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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