Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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