He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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