May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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