Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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