yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
