where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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