hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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