Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
