so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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