She said her name was "party"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
