im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
