I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
