She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
What a dumb baby whore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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