you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
