Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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