Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
