how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
