Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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