Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
