I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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