How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
