Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm too high and old for this...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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