She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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