So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
