Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
