my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
