you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
