Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
