I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
