I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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