Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
