Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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