Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize