I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
