I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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