Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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