C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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