Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
