I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
