i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
