Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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