he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
