we made out on top of his cat.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize