ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
