HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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