Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to make out with him forever
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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