i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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