i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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