then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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