we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So. Much. Porn.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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